Mar 11, 2012

UNAFFECTED BY IT ALL RIGHT

MY PROBLEMS ARE IDIOTIC I AM LUCKY I HAVE NEVER BEEN HUNGRY I HAVE A NICE BED MY PARENTS LOVE ME IMMENSELY I HATE THE INTERNET I NEED TO GO KILL MYSELF OR DELTE MY BLOG ONE OR THE OTHER I CAN’T TELL WHICH BECAUSE I AM A DELUSIONAL ASSHOLE I DON’T ACTUALLY BELIEVE IN YOU I LOVE MY FRIENDS I LIKE COMICS IDC ABOUT BOOKS BUT THEY MAKE FEEL INSIGHTFUL SO MAYBE I SHOULD READ THEM I NEED NOTHING I FEEL HAPPY EATING AN ORANGE YOU ARE FUNNY BUT SORT OF FUCKED AND EVIL AND I THINK IT IS TOTALLY GAY THAT YOU ARE BLOGGIN ABOUT TIM M. IN RELATION TO DEAD FATHERS THAT IS WHY I THINK YOU ACTUALLY HAVE NO SOUL AND ARE IDIOTIC LIKE THE PEOPLE YOU HATE I AM STILL SAD ABOUT MY FATHER STOP PLEASE DELETE YOUR BLOG AND NEVER SPEAK TO ME AGAIN BUT I REALLY WOULD NOT CARE I JUST HATE YOU BECAUSE YOU HATE YOURSELF SO MUCH IT MAKES PEOPLE UNCOMFORTABLE WHEN YOU’RE SO OPEN ABOUT IT EVERYONE HATES THEMSELVES I HATE MYSELF BUT I WILL KEEP SMILING FOR EVERYONE OR AT LEAST LISTEN TO THEIR PROBLEMS BECAUSE THEY ARE NICE USUALLY AND IDC ABOUT ANYTHING BUT PEOPLE WHO ARE FUNNY AND KIND AND NICE AND I REALLY AM NOT SMART AT ALL I JUST LIKE BEING READING AND DONT CARE ABOUT MYSELF AS MUCH AS I WANT YOU TO THINK I DO BECAUSE YOU SEEM REALLY FUCKED BUT I GUESS WE ARE BOTH SEEMING MORE FUCKED ON THE INTERNET BUT IT IS SORT OF FUNNY BUT MOSTLY JUST DEPRESSING AND I FEEL SAD WHEN PEOPLE LOVE ME AND I DON’T LOVE THEM BUT I AM RAMBLING LIKE A CHARACTER IN SEINFELD NO ONE IS SSAYING ANYTHING EVEN TEENAGERS OR YOUNG ADULTS WHO READ DON DELILLO THEY ARE THE WORST ABOUT NOT SAYING THINGS BUT I THINK THE LESS ENLIGHTENED ‘ASSHOLES’ SAY THINGS BEST BECAUSE THEY ACTUALLY FEEL THINGS BUT ANYWAY GTG MY FRIEND C IS GOING TO TEACH ME HOW TO RIDE ABIKE I AM NOT KIDDING I AM GOING TO GO LAUGH WITH FRIENDS EVEN THOUGH YOU MAKE ME FEEL TERRIBLE AND I SORTO F HATE YOU BECAUSE YOUR BLOG IS SCARY WHEN YOU WRITE ABOUT DEAD DADS IT MAKES ME FEEL SAD AND HUMILIATED IT IS DISGUSTING AND IDK WHO YOU ARE IDK WHY I EVEN TALK TO YOU I AM BEING JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE BECAUSE I AM JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE WHY CANT I JUST NOT BE INTO PEOPLE WHO ARE SMART BECAUSE WHEN I ACTUALLY SPEAK TO THEM THEY SEEM NORMAL BUT APPEARANCES ON EHARMONY ARE FUNNY AND CREEPY STOP WRITING EPOETRY GO TO WORK LOL LOL LOL I AM SORT OF TRYING TO BE FUNNY AND I ACTUALLY HAVE BEEN LAUGHING WITH PEOPLE BUT THE MOMENT I TRY TO CONTACT YOU I FEEL UTTERLY ALONE AGAIN IT IS FUCKED YOU ARE REALLY BRINGING ME DOWN BUT I CAN’T TELL IF YOU ARE THE ANTICHRIST OR I AM JUST LIKE A MANIC DEPRESSIVE BUT ITS PROBABLY A COMBINATION OF BOTH I HAVE TO TELL YOU THIS BECAUSE IN A WAY I WANT YOU TO REALIZE THAT WHEN PEOPLE WHO SEEM STUPID CALL SMART PEOPLE HEARTLESS THEY ARE ACTUALYL BEING TRUTHFUL EVEN THOUGH MOST OF THE TIME STUPID PEOPLE MAKE ME WANT TO BE CRUEL SO THAT I CAN KEEP BEING SMART BUT REALLY YOU ARE ENTIRELY DISCONNECTED FROM HUMANITY IN A HUGE WAY IT IS SCARY AND I SORT OF ADMIRE IT BUT IDK WHY I THINK MOSTLY IT IS EASY BECAUSE YOU DON’T HAVE TO IMPRESS ANYONE BUT REALLY THAT IS SORT OF WEIRD AND UNHEALTHY BE YOURSELF IS GOOD BUT CARING FOR OTHERS IS MORE IMPORTANT I AM TOO LAZY TO SIT AND WRITE ALL OF THIS OUT AND TRY TO MAKE IT SEEM SMART OR SOMETHING BUT REALLY I THINK THIS IS ALL STUPID TOO BUT MOSTLY I KNOW THAT YOU ARE PRETTY FUCKED UP BUT I GUESS I’M ATTRACTED TO FUCKED UP PEOPLE BECAUSE EVERYONE IS FUCKED UP AND I LIKE ALL PEOPLE BUT YOU ARE REALLY DIFFICULT TO LIKE EVEN IN THIS WEIRD PASSIVE EWAY BUT I FEEL A LOT BETTER WHEN I DON’T THINK ABOUT YOU AT ALL AND I AM ABLE TO BE NICE TO PEOPLE AND WORK ON BEING PATIENT WITH PEOPLE WHO SAY INSINCERE THINGS I GUESS I AM MOSTLY TRYING TO SAVE YOU IN THAT FUNNY YOUNG CRUSADER WAY LIKE THEY TEACH US IN BIBLE SCHOOL BUT THAT IS NOT TRUE MOSTLY I CANT TELL IF YOU ARE ACTUALLY LIKE THIS OR YOU ARE JUST FUCKING WITH ME AND I ALSO HATE BEING SO SERIOUS ALL OF THE TIME TO YOU IN EMAIL BECAUSE IREALLY LIKE JUST BEING YOUNG AND TELLING JOKES BUT WHEN I EMAIL YOU I FEEL LIKE AN OLD MAN IT IS HORRIFYING YOU SCARE ME BUT I GUESS IT IS MOSTLY JUST YOUR SILLY BLOGGER PERSONA AND NOT THE TRUE YOU SO I GUESS IF WE MET IT WOULD JUST BE FUNNY AND WE COULD JUST TELL JOKES OR SOMETHING BUT WHEN WE SPEAK ON THE INTERNET IT SEEMS SO SERIOUS AND YOU MAY BE TRYING TO BE FUNNY BUT MOSTLY YOU JUST MAKE ME FEEL TERRIBLE I GUESS THAT IS A GOOD THINK LIKE YOU MAY BE TOUGHENING ME UP BUT I FEEL LIKE YOU ARE ACTUALLY JUST TRYING TO HURT ME AND I GUESS THE MORE I THINK ABOUT IT AND COMPULSIVELY WORK OUT MY IDEAS IN THIS LITTLE WHITE BOX I FEEL BETTER ABOUT THIS AND REALIZE I CAN’T BE CONNECTED TO YOU IN AN EMOTIONAL WAY BECAUSE I GUESS I’M NOT ACCTUALLY I JUST LIKE THIS WEIRD DYNAMIC IN A SENSE EVEN IF I THINK YOU ARE REALLY TERRIBLE JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE EXCEPT THAT YOU KEEP SAYING EVERYONE IS TERRIBLE BUT MOSTLY PEOPLE ARE GOOD PEOPLE YOU JUST KEEP SAYING THAT THEY ARE TERRIBLE JUST BECAUSE SOME IDIOTIC DOUCHEBAG LIKES TO HAVE SEX AND PLAYS HALO AND LIKES SPORTS DOESN’T MEAN HE’S TERRIBLE JUST BECAUSE A CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE ACTRESS SAYS FUNNY CLICHES IN MOVIES DOESN’T MEAN SHE’S TERRIBLE STOP HONESTLY YOU ARE RUINING ME IT IS FUCKING GREAT BUT ALSO ENTIRELY HEARTBREAKING YOUR INSIGHTS ARE JUST AS ARROGANT AS EVERYONE ELSE’S OR AT LEAST IT SEEMS THAT WAY ON THE INTERNET AM I READING TOO MUCH INTO THIS? I FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE I MUST BE ABSORBING CANCER THROUGH A COMPUTER SCREEN BAD GRAMMAR DOESN’T MEAN SHIT GODDAMNIT SPELLCHECK YOUR LIFE LOLZ RIGHT I UNDERSTAND IRONY IRONY I AM JOKING TOO ALL CAPS THIS IS IRONIC I LOVE THE INTERNET I HATE MYSELF I HATE THE INTERNET I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF THAT IS ALL I HEAR I AM NOT EVEN REALLY ANGRY I DON’T EVEN FEEL ANYTHING TOWARDS YOU I JUST AM MOSTLY VENTING OR SOMETHING I AM ANGRY THAT AT MYSELF FOR TALKING TO YOU I AM ANGRY THAT A GIRL THAT I DON’T KNOW AND WHO DOESN’T CARE ABOUT ME IS BLOGGING ABOUT DEAD FATHERS AND MAKING FUN OF ME CONSTANTLY IT IS LIKE “PLEASE DON’T CARE  ABOUT ANYTHING I WILL ALWAY FEEL OKAY NO ONE WILL HURT ME” PEOPLE SAY THAT NOT CARING IS A DEFENSE MECHANISM IDC I NEVER EVEN CURSE IN REAL LIFE I DONT SAY GODDAMNIT I JUST SORT OF SMILE AND DON’T LIKE SPEAKING MUCH SO I JUST LISTEN AND SAY THINGS THAT ALLOW PEOPLE TO KEEEP TALKING IT IS EASIER BECAUSE I DON’T HAVE TO TELL THEM HOW STUPID THEY’RE BEING I CAN’T HONESTLY SPEAK TO ANYONE BECAUSE THEY WILL CRY BUT THAT IS NOT REALLY THAT LARGE OF A PROBLEM IS IT? I REALLY AM NEVER EMOTIONAL EXCEPT ON THE INTERNET WHEN I BLOG WITCHOO BBY GRL I AM NOT EVEN THAT BORED I LOVE EVERYTHING I THINK EATING AN ORANGE IS FASCINATING BECAUSE THAT IS ALL I HAVE THAT IS ALL ANYONE HAS I LIKE JUST SORT OF PETTING DOGS AND SMILING WHEN SOMEON I LIKE TELL s a funny joke. honestly, you do seem pretty fucked but i can’t tell if you are just seeming fucked on the internet like i am seeming fucked on the internet i think you are pretty much a terrible person but only because you keep saying how much you hate other people. i don’t care if you hate other people but i think you are fucked. it pisses me off when you blog about me in such a weird passive way and then ignore me. i can’t even percieve your nonsense but not because i am so inferior but because it is so0o0o cryptic and dark and special i wish i wouldn’t have shared anything with you in a way but i know that it really doesn’t matter. i guess it makes me sad because it seems like you’re making fun of me for feeling sad about my dad dying and then trying to be more positive. i am a virgin i feel incapable of being sexually attracted to some one i am not somehow connected to and i am not even some jock player. the jocks think i’m weird. i suck at sports. i have been amplifying my problems to seem interesting to you. i ate like 3 pints of ice cream the other day. this is all exhausting i sort of mean everything i say i feel like i hate the internet you but you’re probably cool in person. i guess i shouldn’t feel so fucked but it is really difficult to try not to care about people when they tell me how much they love all of the time. i am lucky in so many ways. i think your internet self is really fucking disgusting and you should feel pretty bad for fucking with everyone, but ya know, why don’t you just stop and stop feeling bad. i think that you are just as attached to weird values as everyone else yours are just sort of stylish or maybe seemingly better or even more valid than others but it doesn’t change things. when you keep saying rambling about perception or the masses suck blah blah blah it is mostly annoying to me because i don’t know people who aren’t a part of the ‘masses’ i don’t feel connected to them either but i can still just be friendly and not try to feel better than anyone else. i think i like you when you aren’t trying to be some righteously heroic epoet or something. i think i just want to draw comics but actualy comics not those annoying indie doodles. i was steeped in marvel and dc and shit as a tot so i really just love drawing super heroes. i think if we were more sane or civil or honest we could actually just talk but idk i am trying to be more grounded but i visit your blog when you don’t respond and it makes me confused as fuck i hate these annoying theatrics they are exhausting

Mar 5, 2012

Did i tell u how i realized i accidentally met bjork?

Mar 5, 2012

Ghost of my dead dad silenced by Tim mcgraw

Tim McGraw in the window yelling over
The howl of my phantom father
Looming near the large clock
& ornate mantle

Tim McGraw stop yelling at me
Tim McGraw I have had enough

Tim McGraw picks up an acoustic guitar
I didn’t even know I had
& starts to play what
The fuck? Get out of my house

This is my dead dad
He only haunts on Easter
Get the fuck out

Mar 5, 2012

Mar 5, 2012

Mar 4, 2012

whateverhappened:

OH MY GOD. I FOUND MY LIVEJOURNAL. It was x fles themed. look at all this shit I made when I was younger. Oh man I was a nerd. 

some of the funniest shit I have ever seen in my entire life

Mar 4, 2012

we need to talk about 2007

omg

rachel mcadams

is hot

is she single?

wait

nevermind

i just googled it

Mar 4, 2012

when i am done with

grad school id ont care

if im a good teacher i

just want a very hot

chili pepper on my

rateyourprofessor.com

prorfile

Feb 26, 2012
Feb 20, 2012

[NYC 1959] a drunken Jack Kerouac heckles Frank O’Hara at a reading

loopunrolling:

Kerouac: You’re ruining American poetry, O’Hara!
O’Hara: That’s more than you ever did for it! 

Oh my god this is something I imagine happening in my wild girly daydreams

(via deactiavtedhookedonsemiotics)

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